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The
two of us are writing this 'cos two heads are better than
one at remembering details. We figured it would be easier
to write an account of our wedding in a semi-journal form
so bear with us if it seems as if this write-up is haphazard
...
THE
BEGINNINGS OF THE WEDDING PLANNING SNOWBALL
We
met in Hong Kong in 1997 - ironical since Hwee is from
Singapore and Adrian is from Toronto! Anyway, by some
stroke of luck, we both found and started our new jobs
in Toronto last October and got engaged on Halloween nite!
What a pair of freaks, eh? Anyhow, the wedding planning
snowball started forming as soon as it was leaked just
before Christmas that we were engaged.
THE
DATE
A
Chinese almanac was consulted and multiple auspicious
dates found - both sets of parents were 'actively encouraging'
a Y2K wedding!! July was vetoed 'cos it would be too hot.
Late May to mid-June were compromises for guests coming
from both the temperate and tropic zones. In view of the
time-constraints, we opted for a Friday wedding. Ceremony
and Reception Sites Initially, we planned a simple ceremony
at City Hall to be followed by a reception at the Metropolitan
Hotel near Dundas on Chestnut St. (less headaches when
it comes to choosing a menu for Chinese banquets!). We
were impressed with the ambience of the function rooms
and the attentiveness of our contact each time we went
down to discuss details. Celly was helpful and courteous,
and encouraged us to gather 100 guests since she could
then offer us some perks such as a free honeymoon suite
and more extensive use of the facilities. However, at
this point we were still looking at 60-80 guests. Nonetheless,
we were all set to book with them until ... we met our
photographer and he suggested the Guild Inn as a place
for photos. The architecture as well as the natural landscape
absolutely blew us away (in spite of most of it being
covered in knee-deep snow at the time). We knew instantly
that we wanted to get married at the amphitheatre BUT
were told that in order to have a ceremony there, we had
to have a reception (cocktail or dinner) on-site. Hence,
we thrashed what we thought were our 'finished plans'
and decided to have both the ceremony and the reception
at the Guild Inn. The thought of not having to move the
wedding party all over TO on the wedding day was VERY
appealing.
CHECKLIST
AND EXPENSES
We
realised that we had to be really organised if we were
to pull off the wedding within four months. We designed
our own checklist and started a 'budget' spreadsheet so
that we could keep track of our expenses. It's a good
thing our computer never collapsed on us!
THE
PHOTOGRAPHER
We
did some research in this area but (admittedly got bored
and) ended up going with the Banana Studio. We had seen
Nikki in action previously, liked his portfolio and his
non-intrusive yet personal style. The price was above
average but quality photos were high on our priority list
and we were willing to forgo the items that we considered
either luxury or non-essentials. Also, Nikki was flexible
about us modifying our package.
INVITATIONS
& FAVOURS
We
considered making the invites ourselves but finally found
the perfect ones (for us) in the Invitations by Dawn catalogue.
Very impressive service - our fax order was processed
perfectly and couriered in less than 48 hours - best of
all, we didn't have to pay PST since it was an inter-province
order. We got a lot of compliments on the invitations
which were printed on white ribbon, and ordered about
25 extra. it was only about a buck more and they make
great bookmarks. We made our own response slips using
plain paper, a colour printer and a pair of pinking shears
(to provide the serrated edge theme that the invites had).
We encouraged 'phone or email replies - not exactly orthodox
but it saved them and us time as well as a stamp for each
household! In the end only about ten of the seventy-odd
guests mailed the reply slip back. Most of the younger
generation replied by e-mail and the older folks just
called up Adrian's parents. We kept track of who was coming
with yet another spreadsheet! Favours aren't a common
thing at Chinese weddings so we were cheap and got our
guests those notepads that look like matchbooks. This
was also a big hint that our reception was a non-smoking
event!
WEDDING
ATTIRE
Along
the theme of being non-conformists, we each had a hand
in choosing both the gown and the tux - after all, it's
OUR wedding and the last thing Hwee needed was Adrian
having second thoughts as she walked down the aisle 'cos
he thought she looked hideous in the gown!
(a)
Gown - The Alfred Angelo website (www.alfredangelo.com)
has a decent section on the terminologies that the bridal
industry uses - very useful if you don't want to be swarmed
with the info-blast at the shops! Hwee found that research
helped her narrow down the styles that she liked and knew
would suit her figure - this also reduced the pain of
having too many choices. She printed up a copy of 7 she
found interesting, of which the store had 4. However,
they were able to suggest others based on the styles she
printed up. She found her whole wedding outfit (gown,
veil, headpiece, shoes) in less than two hours at Chris
and Tina's - Tima, Chris and Veronique (? - a young lady)
were incredible - very helpful yet NOT pushy - we were
not too impressed, however, with the older lady who was
in charge of the fittings. we were made to feel like a
bit of a nuisance. After we paid the first deposit, we
were allowed to take digital photos of Hwee so that we
could show our florist, photographer and parents how the
outfit looked like on her. The best idea we had was to
bring our MOH to the fitting so that she could learn how
to help dress Hwee on the day - ~30 buttons at the back
of her top - and get tips on how to fold/bustle the train.
Oh yeah, make sure the shop caps the cost on alterations
- Tima did so automatically!
(b)
Cheongsum (those high-collared body hugging Chinese dresses)
Johnsons Tailoring (they hail from Shanghai) made Hwee's
(as well as those of Adrian's mom, grandma and SIL) cheongsum.
Workmanship and cutting is unbelievable - $280 workmanship
fee if you bring your own material and ~$450 (material
and workmanship for a long outfit). Our only criticism
is the press studs which kept popping out when Hwee was
giving out hugs!
(c)
Tuxedo We decided to go with a Mandarin-style collar
since Hwee would be changing later into the cheongsum.
That way Adrian didn't have to change to match her! The
service at the Tuxedo Royale outlet we went to was mediocre.
They didn't have a lot of the sizes available - probably
due to the size of the store. Also, at the first fitting,
they didn't provide the right size jacket for Adrian.
The studs (dress buttons) were not in the best condition
and one of the cuff links broke (we repaired it eventually)
just as we were leaving for the Guild Inn. So grooms and
male attendants - make sure you check EVERYTHING that
you rent!
FLOWERS
Petals
by Gem is not your big-time florist but we were impressed
that Eva, the proprietor, was willing to discuss flower-details
with us even tho' the first time we saw her was on the
eve of Valentine's Day! Most other places told us to go
away until after Valentine's Day. The proximity to our
home was a big plus as it allowed us to constantly review
her window displays. She was willing to work with a budget
and was really patient seeing as we changed our flowers
and orders several times! We were also informed when new
stocks of ribbons were received and best of all she called
us up on the eve of the wedding to suggest changing the
male attendants' boutonnieres as the lilies we had originally
chosen were not as vibrant as the gerberas that had arrived.
I
SPY, YOU SPY
We
brought our wedding party to the Guild Inn one Saturday
for lunch so that we could spy from afar how others designed
their wedding ceremony. Boy, were we relieved that we
had chosen a Friday afternoon - the place was a wedding
zoo! At any one time, there were at least 10 wedding groups
and they were waiting impatiently at the sidelines even
before the ceremony that was taking place was completed
- very rude, we thought.
GIFTS
We
didn't register 'cos we knew that the bulk of our gifts
would come in monetary forms (consistent with the Chinese
tradition of giving "red envelopes"). We did, however,
religiously keep a note of every gift we received - this
started about a month before the wedding.
HAIR
This
is FUNNY - the moms and the whole wedding party got their
hair done at the same First Choice branch that we've frequented
for ages. The two persons who did our hair (we hesitate
to mention their names! They're our little secret!) treated
styling/cutting our hair for the wedding as a labour of
love - an amazing lot (and FRUGAL)!
MAKE-UP
Cathy
Crispo (Makeup by CC) impressed us so much at Hwee's and
our MOH's free trial that it was not a touch decision
to book her. On the day of the wedding, she pulled up
next to us - four minutes before the agreed time - and
got to work straight away. Thumbs up for this gal!
THE
DAY
Nearly
three hours in the morning were spent doing hair and make-up.
Then it was a light lunch before we all headed to the
Guild Inn for our photo session. Hwee was a hysterical
sight in her veil, top, shoes and pantaloons! We didn't
have enough car space to not crease her skirt and crinoline
so she put them on at the Guild Inn.
 
CLERIC
We
had a very fatherly reverend conduct our non-denomination
ceremony. He arrived an hour early to meet the wedding
party, the parents and to fill out the forms. He was also
really helpful about letting Hwee's uncle know where the
best place to place his video camera would be. We were
relieved when he took charge and insisted that the other
wedding party (who were taking pictures 15 mins before
our ceremony!) clear the stage. It was the last thing
that we considered and Adrian was unsure how to handle
this uncomfortable situation with tact. The ceremony itself
was smooth and he injected just enough humour to create
a relaxed yet serious ambience. All of our guests loved
him! Our MOH was so impressed that she has all but decided
to book him for their wedding next year. We don't feel
comfortable advertising for him, but do feel free to email
us if you want his contact information.
MUSIC
We
saved money by bringing in our own stereo system. We burned
the music for the various parts of the ceremony onto a
CD so it was a breeze for our friend who was controlling
the music. Forgot to tell our friends to move the stereo
into the reception site (it went into one of their cars!)
so we had no music during the reception - nobody noticed!
FOOD
& BEVERAGES/RECEPTION
Trust
us to make life difficult for ourselves! And thank goodness
the kitchen staff at the Guild Inn were accommodating!
We ended up with four entree and two dessert options in
order to cater to the varying needs of our guests. We
made our guests decide what entrée they would like and
kept tabs on this with (yes) another spreadsheet! However,
you can count on some of the guests forgetting what they
ordered! Between the ceremony and the reception, punch
and cold/hot finger food were served. There was no bar
service, only wine, pop and water were provided and doubled
up for toasting. Anyone who knows Chinese weddings knows
that alcohol consumption is kept to a minimum. The money
that we saved was channeled to an appetizer that ended
up much tastier than the bland salad that followed. The
portions of the entrées were huge; even some men had problems
finishing their food! Both desserts were divine. Speeches
were short but sweet and followed the clearing of the
desserts. In the true Chinese tradition, the guests started
filtering out about ½ hour after the last course, after
we returned from the tea ceremony. Coffee, tea and soft
drinks were supplied on a self-serve basis for the remainder
of the evening. We predicted this and accordingly we did
not arrange for the usual dance session that follows the
food. After all the guests had left, we staggered over
to the complimentary room provided by Guild Inn. The room
was convenient, although the hotel could stand with a
renovation.
RECEPTION
SERVICE
The
wait-staff were faultless and we got nothing but good
comments from all of our guests. Our instructions on how
we wanted the pre-reception food served and the room set
up was followed to the tee. We had a baby at the head-table
and the staff made sure the entrees for the parents were
kept warm whenever they left the room to feed/change their
kid. They also had no problem setting up a separate room
and tea service for us so that we could conduct our traditional
tea ceremony away from the non-family guests.
THE
FINAL CUT
Actually,
we don't yet know the final damage but it should be just
under what we estimated since our guests drank less than
we expected (Chinese people!). Here's a rough break-down
(numbers rounded up!!!) for your reference :
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