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What you
are about to read are things to do and not to do at your wedding.
Some of the information comes from professional etiquette guides
and other information comes from what we've learned through
the years. So if you want to pull this day off the PROPER way
keep reading. If you don't fancy etiquette rules, FB has given
you a few suggestions.
|
| INVITATION
PROBLEMS |
|
If you don't
want children at your wedding, you have 2 options:
- When
addressing your invitations, leave the children's names off
it and also don't mention them in the invitation.
- Have
friends and family pass the word around that you don't want
children there.
FB Says:
How many people know or understand etiquette. In some cases
you have to cut straight to the chase and say what you mean.
We suggest adding one of these phrases to the bottom of your
reply card:
- Adult
Reception
- We hope
that the (# of) of you will be able to join us
- (# of)
seats have been reserved in your names
Other invitation
stuff:
- If someone
hasn't responded to your invitation, 1 week past the "Reply
by" date, call him or her and confirm over the phone.
- Children
over the age of 16 get their own invitations. (FB thinks 18
is sufficient)
- Your
officiant and their better half get an invitation
- Send
your parents and wedding party invitations, as a keepsake.
They don't have to reply.
- You have
to put return postage on your RSVP's.
|
| WEDDING
GIFTS |
- It is
considered rude to put "cash only gifts", or other
wording meaning the same thing on the invitation.
- You're not supposed to put registry information on your wedding invitation. It's left up to friends and family to inform everyone. However, you can put gift information on an insert in your bridal shower invitations. FB Says: If you have a personal wedding website with info for bridal party and guests (and gift registry info), you can include an insert with the link to your website in your wedding invitation.
- You're
not required to open your gifts at the reception or in front
of anyone.
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| IF
YOU CANCEL OR POSTPONE THE WEDDING |
- You're
supposed to return the engagement ring (now that's hilarious!!!)
- You have
to send back all the gifts with a brief explanation why it
was cancelled. (So don't use anything until you say, "I
do".)
- It's
written that if a gift is engraved or personalized, you don't
have to return it.
- Don't
speak poorly of your ex because somewhere down the line you
might get back together. (Darsi added this one all by herself.)
- You should
inform out-of-town guests first so that they can change or
cancel their travel and lodging arrangements.
- If you're
postponing your wedding, of course every guest has to be contacted.
Etiquette pros say that you have to send another invitation
with the new date.
|
| WHEN
IT'S THE BRIDE'S SECOND MARRIAGE |
|
If you've
been married before or have children it's perfectly acceptable
to wear white.
If you've
been married before or have children you're not supposed to
wear a veil or have a train attached to your dress or carry
orange blossoms. (Must be a sign of purity or virginity thing).
The second
time around, your parent's are not obligated to pay for anything.
f you get
along with your ex-husband and his family and it's fine with
your fiancé, then it's acceptable to invite them to the
wedding. (why you'd want to is another story)
|
| THE
DREADED RECEPTION SEATING PLAN |
- Don't
seat battling relatives together.
- So that
everyone has a good time, seat teens together, aunts and uncles
together, etc. Try seating groups either by their relationship
to you or by their ages.
- As for
the head table, the rule has changed so often that there isn't
one anymore. You and your better half can sit at a raised
table with your wedding party below you. You can have your
own table with a table on either side of you with your wedding
party. You and your husband in the middle of a long table
with men on one side and women on the other, or boy, girl,
boy, girl. Parents and grandparents at the table or not, it's
up to you.
- Stick
to table numbers. Famous couples, places you've been, etc.,
are hard to see from across the room. We've heard many complaints
by guests at weddings, when they have to search for their
tables.
- Reserved
tables are all you need. Why put yourself through the extra
work of having a reserved chair for each guest? It just gives
people something else to complain about.
- It's
a good idea to have a "Reserved" card at the parents
seats. They are the only ones that need preferred seating.
|
| IF
YOU'RE WEARING GLOVES |
|
Gloves give
your wedding attire such an elegant look. You can take them
off sometime before you put on your wedding ring and hand them
to your maid of honour. She'll give them back to you at an appropriate
time.
It's appropriate
to wear your gloves in the receiving line and the first dance.
When it comes time to eat and party, the gloves come off.
|
| JUST
A FEW RULES FOR THE GUESTS |
- Don't
assume that the couple knows you're coming to their wedding.
You must send back your reply card before the "Reply
by" date.
- If you
have declined an invitation, you are not expected to send
a gift.
- If you
arrive at the church during the procession, you should wait
until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering. Also,
don't peek through the doors to watch because you'll be in
her photos.
- If you
are late for the ceremony, you should walk down an outside
aisle and find a seat quickly and quietly.
- If you
are of a different faith, you are not required to participate
in the rituals, but if you want to that's fine.
- You have
to buy the couple a gift.
- The gift
should be something that they can both use.
- If you
have sent a wedding gift through the mail, then you don't
have to bring another one to the reception.
- It's
wise to give a cash gift to couples that are getting married
out-of-town because they will have to ship everything back
home and that's an added cost to them.
- Many
couples that have lived together for awhile will not register
for gifts. That's because they already have everything they
need. In this case, cash in a wedding card is appropriate.
- Guests
pay for their own transportation and lodgings.
|
| OKAY,
THE REALLY BIG QUESTION? WHO PAYS FOR WHAT? |
|
Bride's
Family
- All Reception
Costs
- Church
Fees
- Groom's
Rings
- Invitations
- Flowers
for Church, Bridesmaids and Reception
- Music
for Ceremony
- Transportation
for Bridal Party
- Gifts
for Bridal Party
- Groom's
Gift
- Lodging
for Bridesmaids, if necessary
Bridal
Party
- Your
Attire
- The Shower
- If you're
from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is
in
- Gift
for the Couple
The advice
above is traditional. We realize that things have changed in
the past 50 years.
|
Groom's
Family
- Bride's
Ring
- Clergy
Fees
- Bride's
Bouquet, Corsages and Boutonnieres
- Rehearsal
Dinner
- Transportation
for Groomsmen
- Gifts
for Groomsmen
- Bride's
Gift
- Lodging
for Groomsmen, if necessary
Groomsmen
- Your
Attire
- The Stag
- If you're
from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is
in
- Gift
for the Couple
|
|
| STANDARD
ANNIVERSARY GIFTS |
1st Anniversary
- Paper
2nd Anniversary - Cotton
3rd Anniversary - Leather
4th Anniversary - Linen
5th Anniversary - Wood
6th Anniversary - Iron
7th Anniversary - Copper or Brass
8th Anniversary - Bronze or Electrical Appliance
9th Anniversary - Pottery
10th Anniversary - Tin or Aluminium
11th Anniversary - Steel
12th Anniversary - Silk |
13th Anniversary
- Lace
14th Anniversary - Ivory
15th Anniversary - Crystal
20th Anniversary - China
25th Anniversary - Silver
30th Anniversary - Pearls
35th Anniversary - Coral or Jade
40th Anniversary - Rubies or Garnets
45th Anniversary - Sapphires
50th Anniversary - Gold
55th Anniversary - Emeralds
60th Anniversary - Diamonds |
So basically, those are the general rules. Seems he's got 60 years
of married life to wait until he has to buy you another Diamond.
Doesn't seem fair does it!! |